Can I be real for a minute? I mean like, really real? I just need to take this moment in cyber space to stop time and purge all the thoughts that were rolling around in my head this morning. I practically wrote this thing already on the way to work. That’s kind of how the love/hate relationship of “inspiration” and I roll. It’s not like texting and driving or anything, so don’t freak out on me. It’s just there. On the tip of the tongue. So, here we go.
The last time I checked this was December, right? I remember throwing out in to the blogosphere way back in October that OCTOBER was my “feel crazy” time of year. I had some good hits off of that one and a lot of site traffic. So much so that I just reposted my 2015 words instead of writing a new one for 2016. I mean, why not? But, here we are. And it’s December. And I’m chasing my tail again. So for all of you moms out there who have yet to even sit down and online order your kids’ Christmas via Amazon Prime – and probably won’t until well into late next week –well, this one is for you.

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And also, Feng Fu

I’m a fixer. How’s that for an opening line? I tend to want to fix things and people and situations. I like to see the triumphs over the tragedies and the silver linings to the rain clouds. I can apply this to most external situations. Personal ones, however, are always harder to do. You see, I think that’s because we always put ourselves last, right? At least I’m fairly certain I do. Children first, always. The nurturing caretaker role of mother, teacher, friend. We lose identities in this way, yet, we all succumb to it here and there.
I’ve been trying real hard lately to work on “fixing” myself. Not that I’m necessarily broken. I consider myself a productive contributor to society. I have great friends and a pretty sturdy set of ideals. But, the journey for improving self-worth is there. Fixing. I’m trying to really focus in on these grand plans that I have for life. But, somehow along the way, the path tends to crumble from time to time. I find myself just going through the motions. And this, my friends, is not the way I plan on living the rest of my life. If you can step outside of yourself and say that out loud…. Well, that’s a first step.

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Good morning!!!  It’s a beautiful day to be on Thanksgiving vacation!  I have so many zings to share with you, now that I have a little bit of time freed up to do things not considered part of survival mode.   Gosh, where to even start? (Insert favorite thinking face emoji here.) Can you tell I’m winging this?  How about them Cubbies?!?! Oh… and holy tacos, the election is big news.

It’s Saturday morning.  My kids are already up and running wild.  I should probably be doing something motherly like fixing them breakfast.  I’ll get to that.  But Imma take a little selfish ‘me time’ first, with my coffee and my laptop.  This is the first day of an extended holiday break from school. Citizens, do not be fooled.  Teachers get just as excited as the students at the thought of many consecutive days off in a row.

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Do you remember being little and getting really ticked off at your parents?  Looking back now, it probably seems comical.  The scrunched up nose, the pouty lips, all because of the impending doom that came with nap time or eating a gross vegetable.  Ironic, isn’t it?  These days we inhale veggies for fear of back fat.  And nap time?  Don’t get me started.  The ability to halt everything midday to lie down and go to sleep? Fools!  We were pint-sized fools!

 

You packed up the battery powered Big Wheels with your favorite teddy bear and a bag of Oreos and drove off into the sunset.  Curious neighbors glanced your way as you rolled by confidently.  Notorious B.I.G., what?! Parents.  Hmmph.  You showed them!  We would lie to ourselves, convinced that life was better just over the horizon.  And it was all fun and games until you ran out of Oreos.

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I woke up today feeling extra snotty.  By snotty I mean full of boogers.  How’s that for a hook line?

 

Huge inhale in.

 

Yep.  I immediately imagine those little cartoon snot characters from the Mucinex-D commercial.  Every time I blow my nose I demand their presence be made so that we can discuss this mutiny.  You know the feeling.  When you wake up and your whole wind pipe is several centimeters smaller than the night before because said cartoon boogers have formed a cavalry line to block the intake of sweet oxygen.

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Well, it happened.  I finished my 30 days of blogging and I face-planted in cyber dirt.  It’s been close to a week now.  The grand finale of busy October ended with wrapping up parent conferences, Halloween activities at school, Halloween fun at home, and attending a wedding.  Yes, I said wedding.  So here I am, trying to get back on track and produce something of substance and effort for this little blog o’ mine. My site traffic is down due to my inactivity.  Sad face.  Share me with your friends, please! Well, not ME.  That would be weird.  I meant the website.  I’m cool and funny.  I’ve got great white girl dance moves and a sense of humor.

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This Saturday morning started off the same as they usually do.  There’s something precious about routine.  I opened my eyes to find my 4 year old’s feet about 2 inches from my face.  Slowly, very slowly I roll the other direction.  Any sudden movements and I could lose an eyeball.  I try my best to slither my way out of bed.  You see, it’s just now 6:30.  This equates an hour of “sleep in” time from my weekly routine.  And if I play my cards right, I just might get an hour or two of ALONE time before the miniatures start rousing.  SQUEE!!!!

 

First things first – coffee.   Well almost.  The dog is dancing around my feet.  This is also an hour past normal “potty” time.  If I walk too briskly  to let her out, she starts running too! Ninety pounds of running boxer on wood floors equals morning quiet time sabotage.  We have to tiptoe. Like ninjas.  Slow and steady pace.  Prancing dog follows.  Sliding door cracks open and……

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I spend a lot of time making fun of the everyday follies that I seem to naturally attract. I’m glad I can share these experiences with others.  Who doesn’t love a good laugh?  However, I do actually have a few methods to my madness.  And, lo and behold, I thought you all would like to know how I manage to tread water in spite of such occurrences.   It’s another “10 List”!!!  Get ready!  It’s always important to keep yourself a step ahead.  For example, I know that EVERY time I heat up an “easy mac” bowl for my darling daughter (because that’s all she will flipping eat on some days),  I know, without a doubt, that it’s going to overflow all over my microwave turntable.  This leaves a soppy, disgusting mess.  So, preplanning is beautiful.  Put the whole set up on a plate.  Boom.  Overflow hits the plate.  Plate hits the sink of dirty dishes.

 

Too petty for you?  Well, my friends, we can go deeper.  Look into my over-the-top-attempt-at-sultry eyes.  We can delve much deeper..

 

Maybe my tips will work for you.  Maybe they won’t.  If you’re curious, read on!

 

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One of my favorite places to frequent around here is Starbucks.  Starbucks in October is especially divine.  Yep. I am a mini-van driving mom that loves her pumpkin spice latte.  A lot of you can relate to some or all of that.  Maybe not the super cool mini-van part.  Hey!  I had a Hummer for a while.  Until some of the super important engine-y parts went bad and I was forced to trade it in.  Sorry, I’m not so good with highly technical terms on car parts.  You can see my post on woodscrews (The Perpetual  Short Straw) if you’d like a more thorough feel of my shortcomings.

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